Thinking about this, my heart thinks about our birth mom, somewhere in China. The choices she had to make. They couldn't have been easy. Medical care was needed and probley not something that was affordable,where could she leave her baby.Somewhere where it's not cold and that she would be found quickly,did she stay in the distance to watch and make sure. Does she go back to the finding spot and cry? I can't stop wondering,wishing I had a way to let her know that her sweet little baby is okay.
My heart bleeds for her, she has to miss her baby. She has to wonder where she is, what's she's doing, what she looks like, did she receive the medical care she needed that played a huge part in her heart breaking decision to abandon her sweet little baby.
I can't imagine being in either one of these situations. I do know what it's like to grieve a child. A child I didn't have, couldn't conceive, couldn't hold or even name. I can't imagine what the grief and the hurt these two ladies have, that got to carry their babies, hold their babies and love them for a short period of time. Grief played a huge factor in our waiting to decide what or where we go from here. The thought of never hearing the words "momma" or daddy broke my heart. My heart was hurting but not to the extent of the grief, pain and emptiness that my cousin and our biological mama must feel everyday.
If you are out there, feeling hurt, depressed, heart broken because of losing a baby or because of infertility, there are babies in this world that need you. I know the grief, the pain, the emptiness. Our daughter is now my world. Please, if you cannot adopt, please consider donating to www.lovewithoutboundaries.com or www.halfthesky.com.
Have a very Merry Christmas and a Properous new Year!
Emily!!
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