This is Hard....

Recently, Madisyn has shown great interest in reading and arts. I normally find her curled up on the couch or in her bedroom somewhere, reading. Other days, constantly creating downstairs at the craft table. This is such as joy to watch her grow her love for both of these.

We've been doing some free art classes at the library. Learning about different artist and their techniques. She normally has no issues with leaving me to do things anymore. She goes to dance class alone, school, swimming and all sorts of activities. These art classes...NOT A CHANCE. So, I stayed with her in the room and just watched and helped another little boy in the room that has severe disabilities.

Later that night, driving home, we talked. I asked her why she didn't want to do this class alone. Her quick response was, it's loud and busy and I am afraid you will forget to come and get me. This made my heart hurt...hurt like never before. Is this coming from being abandoned...in a loud, busy place? Are these feelings of being alone and afraid? Being forgotten? My eyes sting with tears as I write this. I cannot imagine the feeling of uncertainly and anxiety she must feel inside her little body.  As I choked back the tears and tried to respond, I said baby girl, I will never forget you, I will never leave you or hurt you. I will always be here, be there whenever you need me. If me going inside the art class with you makes you feel safe, I will go.

As the conversation continued, I reminded her that I will never forget her. she said to me..."Mama, I forget that! I think you will forget!." Oh how my heart aches for her as we help her through this stage and I am sure it will appear other ways and times down the road but the truth is, she is not forgotten but loved. Very Much!

Baby girl, we love you!

Chinese New Year

We always get together with 2 families from the GTA that are more like family now than friends. I cherish every moment we get with them. We always have a great time together and the kids just love each other.

It was going to be in Newmarket this year but Jan and Paul has had some issues in their house with flooding, so I offered for them to come here.

it was so much fun!!!!

There was so much food!!!!

There was so much laughter!!!

Here are some pictures!

 

There was candy, stickers, lollipops , you name it, everywhere. We were still finding stuff the next day.....Life is so good

it's been a while.......

It's been quite sometime since I wrote on here. It's been quite the year needless to say. I will try and be better now that things have calmed down a little around here.

Dru's surgery in October went really well and I am so pleased with that. We have a follow up appointment coming up in march with the 3v1 clinic at McMaster the first week in march. He has started speech therapy again and looks forward to "Emma"day, which is Fridays.

After that, came Christmas which was very quite for us and no drama..I loved it! Just me, Jason and the kids. I loved every minute of the time I had alone with my little family. It was nice and time well deserve by Jason and I. We tend to take for granted the quality time needed with just us 4. It was good for the soul.

The new year has arrived and things are going well. Madisyn is doing very well. I am homeschooling her a little. I feel there are things that they are not teaching anymore (ie, cursive writing) which is important to me, so I am teaching her this. We are doing a little math as well. She is now reading novels and finding her head buried a book is a every day thing now. I love that she loves to read. Makes me a little giddy!

We are doing well. We are getting prepared for Florida. I am more excited than the kids I think. I have never been to Disneyworld, so this is new for me too. Cannot wait. I will post pictures.

Anyway, Jason and I are doing great! The kids are doing great! Life doesn't get much better than that!

1 year ago today

 It's hard to believe that a year today we got weeman. My heart was so full but hurting too. Learning more about his life before us made this mama a little heartbroken.

 Nanjing,China. The civil affairs office at 1:45 in the afternoon, china time. I will never forget!

 This picture was taken 2 weekends ago by my cousin, he is getting so big but also a little monkey as well.

                                                                         Our Family of Four

busy life

Life is busy...but we wouldn't change one thing about. We are so in love with the way things are right now. There are only 2 things that would make me a little happier, my mom living close and my grandparents we here on earth. I miss them so much.

What's new? I had to have treatment for a lump in my thyroid. Everything seems great with that. I have also been helping in miss diva's school with the Nutrition for learning program. I am truly enjoying being in the school. Still working and enjoying my babies more than ever.

Jason is doing well. He is amazing and is totally in love with his kids. I love to see him sitting down at the table helping miss diva with her homework. Puts a smile on my face. He is back at work, not liking it much but there is no choice but to work...right?

Miss Diva is amazing. She is doing super in grade 1. Her reading level is much higher than the teacher thought. She is loving dance, still going to mandarin school as well. We have hired a university student, who was born in mainland china to tutor her about 2 hours a week. She seems to like her and that's a bonus.

Dru just had surgery on Oct 29 to re-repair his palate. He was discharged in 24 hours. He is a tough little dude that's for sure. His speech and English language is coming along pretty good. He loves his jie jie and baba. I am so proud of his strength and to be chosen to be his mama.

Overall, we are doing great! We are gearing up for the holiday season with our babies. I cannot wait to decorate that tree with both my babies this year. Last year, Christmas was exciting to have him home but a bit of a blurr as well.

We are doing great.........we are a very blessed mama and baba.....

17 years married

This weekend, Jason and I celebrated 17 years married. This is awesome and I love him more then I did that day, but will never love him as much as the next years to come.

Have we had it easy? Yes and No.

Our relationship has always been strong, we have a very good line of communication. We love to sit and chat about what is happening in the life we are living. The fears we face, the adventures we would love to do together and especially talking about our babies. They are our world.

We struggled for years with infertility. This was a hard place for us. We exhausted all our resources until one day I was shown where God wanted us to be. Oh so clearly. We struggled with the cost of the adoptions but the bank as lots! Thank you CIBC! Would I do this road again? Absolutely! The only thing I would change is the waiting. I think I would not have done the IVF's and all that but went to adoption first. I guess it's a process you need to go through, to be with the child you are meant to parent.

Jason and I have been, done and seen a lot of things. My favorite is obviously going to China. I am in love with this country, the culture, the smells, the food, the sounds, the language. Everything except for the spitting I am in love with. I love my children's homeland and patiently waiting until we can return.We also love to spend time doing road trips. Another was Chicago. Loved Oprah,solider field, the bean. Most of all spending time with our little family!

Jason and I have been through some hard times with family. Being accused of things I would never dream of doing. I am seeking help with this because it's making me hate people. Which that is not me. I also do it because I am the one that is beating myself up about people who assume they know but have no idea. Will they ask?No! Why because we are an easy target. It's like I am on welfare driving fancy cars and living is a huge house...not the case. God knows the truth, we know the truth and they are missing out. Do I care? yes, but am I going to worry, No!Losing our grandparents has been rough. I miss my nanna and poppa so much. I wish everyday they could see my kids. One day! I miss grandpa Brook. Loved listening to him talk about places he as been and things he as seen. he was a very smart man and I loved listening to his wisdom. Miss you guys!

Jason and I have decided to take the kids to Florida in March. We are so excited. Miss Diva and I are going to Disney. I am more excited then she is....She is happy to just stay home and enjoy home.We have rented a house and going. I cannot wait. Here we come Mickey Mouse...lol

Here's to another 17 years, hopefully somethings change but if not. Oh Well, I am going to be a happy lady with the little family and life I have. I am happy to be alive, happy and healthy.

9 months home...how is that possible?

Dru has been home for nine months......ALREADY.It seems like we just stepped of that plane. He is settling in well and I am loving in love with this boy....such a funny boy

The day we received him...my heart was so full. Thank you God for all my blessings...

Precious baby boy!



We are thrilled to have this little guy as our son. He is such a ham and make us laugh everyday!

Love you Zhang Yi Hui...Dru Yi Hui Schraud