cookies

 The princess wanted to make cookies with me one day. So, all of the daycare kids were ill and it was just me and her. I love our alone time together. We always get into trouble together. She worked very hard mixing the ingredients together. She was so helpful.

 She enjoyed licking the beaters after we were done mixing the ingredients together....cute

Our devil oreo brownies....they are sooooo delicious...thank you yan yan for your help!

Annual check - up @ McMaster

Well, I have to admit, going to these appointments with Yan Yan always gets my mind racing about the "what if's". I think I drive myself a little crazy because I haven't been sleeping well this past week.

Anyway, I took the day of work, and Jason worked a half day. We both like to try and attend all appointments together, we both like hearing the issues and the non issues together. Also, it's time together as a family, which we love!

Around 12:30 pm, we loaded the princess in the car and made our way to Hamilton. We stopped at Carter's and Golf Town for a few minutes because we were early arriving in Hamilton. I bought some shirts and pretties for miss diva for christmas. Then, we made our way to Chedoke. When we arrived, we checked in and went to the fourth floor. Miss diva was busy playing with the Thomas train and I was drawing letters and numbers on the board to see if she recongized them. She knows a lot of the ABC's and recongizes all of her numbers up to 10. Good job baby girl. Then we were called in to the Developmental Pediatrician- Karen Harmen.

Miss diva was busy playing with toys, chatting to all of us and having a good time. She did a few things with her, asked if we had any concerns and weighed her and measured her. She as gained 3 pounds in a year and grown almost a foot. This girl as been busy growing. She said her head size was a little small but she said it's probley because she has a flat head at the back. Also, she is not to worried because she is exeeding her development age range. This made my heart beam with relief and pride. I was a happy momma.

Then we had to downstairs to see the Audiologist- Carol Pavey. She is a older lady and Miss diva was okay with her until she told her she had a student teacher that was going to help. Miss diva screamed for a few minutes. Carol put some ear phones on and Miss diva had to put the pegs in the board when she heard the sounds. She did excellent! Carol was happy. She looked in her ears and the left ear had no tube.(we knew this) The right still had the tube but it was dislodged and that's what is creating discomfort for her. They are making a ENT appointment for ASAP to have them remove it because......SHE DOSEN"T NEED  TUBES!!!!THANK GOD! They are healed and doing everything like normal ears. Another reason to be thankful and a happy mama.

Then , we were sent back to the fourth floor to see the speech pathologists- Christina Mellies. This is were I get a little nervous. Again Miss diva did very well but missing some sounds. She said that she as a under bite, which is creating some sounds to sound a little different. She can't get sounds that end in "ch" "sh" and she needs to work on trying to get them to the front of her palate instead of the back. If this dosen't happen within six months, she may need a palate lengthening. This made my heart a little sad but if she needs it, she needs it. We will be going back in the summer to assess her speech again. I hope she gets they sounds or we will be in surgery again.

Overall, she is doing wonderful. She is a very brave girl and has been thru so much in her little life, I just hate having to put her thru more. No matter what, she is our world and we love her to pieces.

                                                     sitting on the floor eating a candy!

Heavy Heart...

Just recently my cousin in Newfoundland lost her 3 month old baby. Her world is schattered and I can't stop thinking about her. I can't imagine what happens in a mothers heart when losing her precious baby. This baby was loved, cared for and cherished and had his medical needs met until there was nothing else the medical world could do. Rest in heavenly peace sweet baby Kai.

Thinking about this, my heart thinks about our birth mom, somewhere in China. The choices she had to make. They couldn't have been easy. Medical care was needed and probley not something that was affordable,where could she leave her baby.Somewhere where it's not cold and that she would be found quickly,did she stay in the distance to watch and make sure. Does she go back to the finding spot and cry? I can't stop wondering,wishing I had a way to let her know that her sweet little baby is okay.

My heart bleeds for her, she has to miss her baby. She has to wonder where she is, what's she's doing, what she looks like, did she receive the medical care she needed that played a huge part in her heart breaking decision to abandon her sweet little baby.

I can't imagine being in either one of these situations. I do know what it's like to grieve a child. A child I didn't have, couldn't conceive, couldn't hold or even name. I can't imagine what the grief and the hurt these two ladies have, that got to carry their babies, hold their babies and love them for a short period of time. Grief played a huge factor in our waiting to decide what or where we go from here. The thought of never hearing the words "momma" or daddy broke my heart. My heart was hurting but not to the extent of the grief, pain and emptiness that my cousin and our biological mama must feel everyday.

If you are out there, feeling hurt, depressed, heart broken because of losing a baby or because of infertility, there are babies in this world that need you. I know the grief, the pain, the emptiness. Our daughter is now my world. Please, if you cannot adopt, please consider donating to www.lovewithoutboundaries.com or www.halfthesky.com.

Have a very Merry Christmas and a Properous new Year!
Emily!!

winter pics

                                           Wang Feng Yan  (Madisyn Feng Yan Schraud)

                                                                    Our Family

        Madisyn and Nana Dobbie, it's a wonderful gift to have her home @ this time of the year.
                              We are excited to spend the holiday season with her this year.

travel mates

We went to the airport to welcome friends home from China. While standing there, a family came out and I am thinking, I know them. It turns out we did know them, it was a family that traveled to China with us. Miss Diva wasn't so sure but C was so excited to see her. They kept hugging each other and wouldn't let go. So adorable!

Outside decorations

Christmas as always been a favorite holiday for me. The reason for the season, family get togethers, time off work ,receiving christmas cards have all been things I enjoy about the season, but I truly enjoy decorating our home and creating memories with our daughter.

 My outside planter that I made and I love it. It sits nicely in front of the new fence that goes across the top of the drive way. love it!

                                                          winter greenery swag

I am wanting to fill some water balloons to put on the table with these snowmen but it's not cold enough to do that, they will just melt.

Inside decorations of 2012

 Helping put the lights on the tree. She thought the lights were the prettiest things she has ever seen. She would hold them up and say" mama, so pretty".

                                                            decorated yan yan

                                                       mama and the mongolian princess

                                                           our christmas tree